Somehow, I have learned to lean on my own strength now that you are in a better place, resting and smiling down on me from heaven. I remember laying my head down next to yours’ while you were in the hospital bed awaiting the days of your afterlife transition. The touch of your hand pressed up against my face was a sign to let me know you embraced my physical presence graciously. Then, you proceeded to put your arm around the back of my neck as my head laid next to yours with tears flowing down my face in a state of toska. So, I had to turn my face to the wall, just so you wouldn’t see the tears of sorrow rolling down my face. I will never forget the stillness of your body, as I watched your fainting heartbeat raise up and down during the midst of your shallow chest caving in with the victory of your heart stopping. All the while I knew it was just a matter of time you would be physically leaving me for the last time to go and be with the Heavenly Father.
I wish I could’ve had the chance to share one more of everything with you that made my heart call you my best friend for life. I wish I could hear you laugh one more time, but now I only have the reminders of you sitting across from me with that witty personality that matched mines.
“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
Luke 4:18-19 (NIV)
Over the years our levels of trust grew, allowing us to talk about any and everything. We learned to lean on each other daily. Through weekly conversations we both were able to find ways to make it through life’s battle grounds. During our roughest days, and even feel like given up days we leaned on each other for strength to make it through another day journey. We both shared a place of halcyon, and now that you are gone I feel all alone. Even lost in my own world of emotional being some days. But, our friendship flowed with a grace of redamancy. I will never forget your voice of grace.
“As for God, his way is perfect:
The LORD’s word is flawless;
he shields all who take refuge in him.
For who is God besides the LORD?
And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength
and keeps my way secure.”
2 Samuel 22:31-33
New International Version (NIV)
You transformed my life in a major way, you embodied the essence of ludic. I came out of my hardcore shell when I met you because you made me feel like I could be myself, and that’s when I realized you were a very down to earth person, in body and in Spirit. I began to understand we had much more in common than I thought from the first day I met you. We both shared deep levels of conversation about life’s daily struggles.
The pain doesn’t get any easier since the day you departed this lifetime and crossed over into eternal glory to be with the Father. Every day I long to talk to you and see your face, I long to come face to face with your laughter and glorious smile. I remember all the laughter we shared together as friends over the years just to keep us from crying over all the calamities we suffered in our lives such as relationship breakups, deaths of love ones in our families, our very own sicknesses, the physical pain we suffered in our bodies with which we had in common, etc. Continue reading “Dearly Departed”